Wow, okay. So, first of all, I want to apologize for not having posted anything the last two weeks. Two weeks ago, my son was sick with a stomach bug, and then last week, I was sick with a stomach bug (and a fever - yuck!). Anyway, I didn't even get to read the last two weeks' worth of Bible, BUT we'll just push forward to where we're supposed to be for this week. And, on that note...
"Then one of the twelve, named Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, 'What are you willing to give me to betray Him to you?'" - Matthew 26:14
A little background and context on this verse: Jesus had gone to Bethany and he was hanging out in Simon the leper's house. While He was there, a woman (apparently named Mary, even though my Bible never actually names her) opened up a vial of super expensive perfume and poured it on Jesus' head. Well, the disciples saw it and couldn't believe that this woman would waste something so expensive like that. But, Jesus told them to chill out because she was only preparing Him for His burial. Not only did He tell them that they were wrong, but He emphasized it by saying that wherever the Gospel was taken, this woman's deed would be told there, too.
But, here is my real observation about this verse: Judas didn't all-of-a-sudden decide to betray Jesus. People just don't work that way (usually). This was just the straw that broke the camel's back. When I read verse 14, I immediately see Judas as this guy that had been walking around in Jesus' shadow, under His tutelage, and seething with resentment at all of the things in his life he is being told that he is doing wrong. I am betting that Judas just got so tired of Jesus being right all the time and him being wrong that he just couldn't take being put in his place anymore. He was SO tired of it, that he did the one thing that he knew he could do to hurt Jesus the most - he sold him out. And for what? He sold him out for 30 pieces of silver. I have got to wonder how much that would be worth in terms of today's money. My study notes tell me that 30 pieces of silver was the price of a slave. Judas was so angry that he was willing to lower the value of Christ to that of a slave. To me, that's pretty profound.
I think the reason this spoke to me, is because I find myself in Judas' shoes a lot throughout life. I go through these spurts where I'm super devoted to being a good Christian and turning the other cheek and always being positive and always accepting criticism and correction, etc. But then I go through long periods of time where I have such a hard time listening to people tell me over and over again how what I'm doing isn't good enough or how I'm wrong about this, that, or the other thing. But, not only that, I see how the transformation in going from trying to humbly accept correction to stubbornly refusing it is a very gradual one. And to be perfectly honest, I feel like I have come into that stage of my life where my heart has been chipped away at by life (read: work and responsibility) that I find it hard to appreciate God, much less have faith that He will bring everything together eventually. Not that I condone what Judas did, by any means, but I think I understand him a little bit. And understanding why he did it, and maybe where he was coming from, makes him seem less evil and maybe just more desperate or something.
I think it can serve as a warning to not let your own desperation get the better of you. When you are feeling down, or discouraged, or desperate, find a friend. Even if you don't want to talk about what it is you're going through directly, just go find a friend and talk about anything else. Sometimes, all we need is someone positive to laugh with, or just be around and even though you might not have actually talked about your stressers, you will likely walk away feeling much better about all of it. I know that when Nicole and I get a chance to just hang out, even though we aren't talking about my work, most of the time, I do walk away from that feeling better.
Lord, thank You for grace and mercy. Thank You for peace. Father, I just ask that You reveal Yourself to me and anyone else reading this blog. I pray for guidance, and direction. I pray for provision. Above all, I pray that Your will be done. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
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